Of Two Minds

“Are you ready?” Carl’s slightly high-pitched voice already ground against Lucas’ nerves, fully interrupting his moment of solitude in the empty changing room. What does the insufferable ass want now? Lucas thought to himself while grunting “Ehm?” in the vague hope that he would be left alone. 

“Are you ready, Lucas?” Carl persisted, his tone impatient. Hmm, no such luck. “Everyone is waiting for the famous Ironclaw,” Carl continued, slightly irritated. Infamous, you mean Lucas corrected internally, skipping past the change in Carl’s tone, knowing full well what awaited those known for their prowess in the pits. You don’t get famous for murder.

“Come on! Get your ass into gear, as the gnomes say.” Carl powered through the silence. “You are going to win the prize money for the boss right?” Lucas’ shoulder sank a bit at the mention of the boss. Yeah, like there is a choice he thought while grinding his teeth. Win or die? Thank you I’ll take the latter, but can you make it quick? I have tickets for a show after this. No? That’s too bad.

“He’s not gonna be happy if you lose,” Carl added to the growing silence. No, I wouldn’t imagine he would be. Lucas retorted inwardly. 

“Yeah, I’m ready! Ain’t I always?” Lucas finally replied, breaking Carl’s slightly high-pitched monologue, resigning himself to the fight ahead. “Who am I fighting this time?”

“You’re fighting that half-orc, whatshisname, Blub? Blood?” Carl struggled to recall. 

Blac you fucking idiot, His name is Blac, Lucas raged to no one but himself. How did you survive into adulthood?

“Ah, you mean Blac.” Lucas corrected. Well,vat least it might be an interesting fight. Blac can hold his own. 

“Okay. Whatever.” Carl shrugged, as he was leaving the sorry excuse for a changing room. “You have 5 minutes” he threw over his shoulder as the door closed behind him.

Maybe you should go into the pit with him, maybe then you might remember his fucking name… If you survive, of course. Lucas mused, cracking a smile to himself. 

The tension was mounting and the excitement for the upcoming bloodshed was rising outside the small changing room. Lucas was wrapping his hands with cloth strips. Why am I doing this? Do I actually have a choice? He mused to himself. Ha good one, maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll kill me. Gods know he’s going to try. But wouldn't it be great? No more of this. No more fighting, no more blood. No more killing. No more anything…

“What do you mean, it would be great?!” Lucas heard a familiar voice from within. “Not after all we have been through!” 

“What?” Lucas jumped in surprise, “Who’s there?” 

“Who am I? I am your will to survive!” the inner voice declared with some disappointment in its tone. “I am what has kept you alive all these years!”

Uh really? Then the best of luck to you Lucas thought to himself. Because I’m about to step in the ring with someone, who literally can rip my head off my shoulders. 

“Do not worry Lucas, I will protect us” a cold blood whisper sounded from behind his ear, making his body freeze up while sweat started running down his back. 

It’s only the nerves, it’ll be fine, Lucas failed to convince himself. In any case, I have my work cut out for me. I don’t need more distractions.

The walk down to the arena was dark and clammy, the familiar smell of moisture and blood was mixed with sweat and alcohol. The only light coming down the long hallway came from the arena itself, together with the noise of people being entertained by violence and bloodlust. A feeling Lucas knew far too well. 

Why do these lights have to be so bright? Lucas complained to himself as he entered the pit arena he had fought in since he was a young teen. So many memories, none of them good, but he could appreciate that he had survived for so long in here. Squinting against the harsh light, isn’t it enough I’ll be fighting for my life here? 

The blood from the previous battle was covering the corner of the pit, Lucas made a mental note to stay away from that corner. Nothing worse than losing your footing mid-fight. Across the arena, a towering olive-green chunk of an orc. Tall and broad-shouldered, Blac was almost three heads above Lucas and just as wide. He made Lucas look and feel like a kid out with his father. Step-father Lucas mused since the towering half-orc was green-skinned, with greasy black hair and dull yellow colored eyes almost the color of piss the day after a night drinking. Where Lucas had pale white skin, and steely grey eyes that told too much of the world he lived in. By no means a short man, Lucas usually was the taller of the people around him. 

Not much Half over this half-orc. Lucas remarked offhandedly while eyeing the crazed half-orc across the small arena from him. 

“Alright, the red corner we have the unstoppable in close combat with his strong grip, Blac the Choker!” it boomed from the announcer’s deep voice, he was a short stout dwarf with a long braided blonde beard and a completely shaved head. Uh? They gave him a name. Good for him. “The Choker”. Lucas voiced inwardly a bit impressed with the big fellow.

“In the blue corner, the man who needs no introduction, the king of the pit himself! Lucas Ironclaw!” the announcer bellowed from his spot on the edge of the pit overlooking the pit arena. Who comes up with these names? Lucas wondered not for the first time. 

Do they pull them out of a hat? Or do they sit down and discuss it? He continually mused. Alright, so in the last couple of battles, he has choked his opponent. Is everyone good with the choker? A short snort of laughter escaped Lucas’ otherwise stoic face and he heard a fit of laughter somewhere in the back of his mind. His blood ran cold by the sound.

“Hey, Lucas! Focus!” the familiar voice of the boss rang out in the arena, as clear as if no one was here, but the two of them. At first, Lucas froze, but shortly a calm focus took over. “Yes, boss,” Lucas answered quickly, almost automatically. 

“Fighters, get ready!” the deep booming voice sounded from the Announcer. “Fight!” 

The two fighters slowly walked toward each other. Lucas eyed the pool of blood in the corner while running through what he knows about Blac. Big and strong, but slow and lacks creativity. Just stand out of his reach and keep moving. The fighters got closer and started circling each other, no one wanting to make the first move. Trapped in what felt like an endless circle of faints and close calls. Lucas finally got Blac goated into being the first one to attack in full. He started swinging big and heavy blows. Lucas easily got out of the way, seeing the swings coming. Blac went again, this time still heavy, but more precise jabs for the head. 

“Great dodging”  the voice from within encouraged as a near-miss passed by Lucas’ ear. “Now! Two left jabs while his side is wide open!” Lucas went along with the advice, getting the feeling this had happened before. Lucas strake Blac clean in the ribs. Tap! Tap! Only the Half-orc’s resilience kept him on his feet. 

“Good job! He is off balance! Go for the left knee!” the voice urged as Lucas got ready for the next attack. “Amazing! We got him now!” The bloodlust was almost too much for Lucas. 

“Power kick to the chest! Hurry, before he gets up!”  the inner voice command, Lucas followed the instructions almost by pure instinct. “Boom! Down goes the Choker!” it screamed with delight.

“Now go for the throat! Kill Him!” it cheered with wild enthusiasm. “NO! Shut up!” Lucas screamed, filling the room with silence for a moment. His mind finally caught up with the events that just transpired.

“I’m not killing him” Lucas whispered after realizing he had shouted the last part. “Do you want to die?” the voice whispered with a cold finality. 

No, I don’t, but… Lucas didn’t get to finish his thought as Blac had taken advantage of the moment and jumped into an uppercut. Fuck that almost took my head off. Lucas cursed to himself. 

Half a second later, while Lucas was trying to shake the static from his eye, Blac had put him in a chokehold. “You should have killed him when you had the chance,” the inner voice chastised.

Lucas’ vision was getting blurry and turning black at the edges. Yes, finally. I’m free. Lucas thought with relief as he slowly moved on to the afterlife. 

“No, you are not. You do not get to!”  the inner voice corrected. “Okay, that is it! I am taking over!” Lucas heard himself say as he lost consciousness.

“Wow, Lucas! That was some impressive fighting. We were sure, you were going to lose there for a second.” the cold yet impressed voice of the boss expressed, filling Lucas with a cold alertness. The now too-familiar voice sounded with an echo from somewhere far in the back of his mind. “I told you, I WILL protect us.”